~ From my sketchbook writings and images, Monday March 12th ~
This is a true story about today:
It's been a day. Nothing noteworthy, nothing outstanding, nothing traumatic other than the aftershocks of a dream which remains unremembered but deeply felt all the same. I've been off. My skin crawling with anxiety, breath sticky in my lungs.
Outside the wind howled like the apocalypse; rain directly parallel to the river, bamboo brushing the ground in prostrate repentance, birch grunting like sea sick women.
And me. I stood outside in the mud, shivering in nothing but an old white tank and bare feet, willing the weather to make me feel alive.
I looked up. "Is this all there is?"
I watched leaves fly sideways. "Show me there's more."
Curls dripped into my eyes and rain slapped my neck. "Give me something. Let me know."
And then, honest truth on my life, in that gale force that would send the stoutest beast cowering, in the flood that threatened the very integrity of the earth, a hummingbird flew to me. Winter colors of muted olive and seaweed. Flying from the north, she flew to me, lighted on the twisted cherry, paused for only half a second and was gone.
And I laughed at this mother of ours, the one who keeps our hearts whole and our creatures fed. Because even in my small tantrum, I was heard.