Today I found out my latest round of lab work has shown all of my tumor markers dropped into the normal zone. This means my blood looks like a real live human being and less like a cancer patient. This means for now, chemo is officially off the table. This means I can focus even deeper on now healing the structural issues in my bones. This means a celebratory dinner date and ecstatic dancing and probably some Pistol Annie's turned up loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Today is so so good. Once again, I can feel my bones glowing.
It comes as no coincidence that last night I finished a new Healer Ring, filled up with words and prayers and small secrets:
You are invited to enter in that sacred temple we call the body.
Those hands, deeper lined than they used to be, have held much.
Those feet have carried you far along this journey.
That skin, smoothed, scarred, freckled, is yours and yours alone.
You may have left this body, you may have wandered far.
You may have felt pain, rage, shame or betrayal.
(I understand this, because I have too)
But any time you want, you are invited to come back inside yourself.
Sink down, feel those hips, hear the blood rush.
Welcome home baby. You can come back any time.
* * *
These are the words I've been pondering for myself. This is the place I want to reside (right here, in this skin, I'm not interested in going anywhere else yet). I've made Healer Rings in the past, but this one is more specific, deeply intended to be a talisman for one who is coming back into her body. We're all so good at leaving, but it takes such focused will to come home. I've sawn out the world's smallest pelvis, surrounded by new growth because that is the place I try to rest in my own body. That cradle. When I close my eyes and invite myself back into my body, I rest my hands across my hip bones and really feel the of that center of life. May we all live in that space as often as feels good, as often as we're able.
I wish you ALL the healing and then some. Glow with me!